Notes on getting out of my own way as an artist
I may actually be learning how to do this, and it's helping my painting practice enormously.
‘Somewhere On the Astral Plane’ ©Kris Cahill 2024, acrylic on wood, 10” x 10” x 3/4”. Purchase the original.
I’ve been learning about how my creative practice works, and what I need to do to get out of my own way so that my paintings can happen more easily for me.
Some of this is just showing up and painting, with an emphasis on play and thinking outside of the old structure I used to think I had to work within.
I have learned that the more I show up and give myself the space, time, and permission to immerse myself in my work, whether it’s for 15 minutes or several hours, it’s the showing up that does it. If I’m distracted and worrying about some other thing that isn’t this, if I’m not here right now, it’s a lot less fun to paint. My busy little mind will come up with so many other things that are more important than doing my real work, which is to create. My meditation practice feeds and nourishes my art practice in just this way.
Half the challenge for me as an artist is being present for my painting time, which means setting other concerns aside. If I am present, this means the spirit of me is here and ready to play with paint. That’s when it gets most fun of all, and also a lot more authentic. Every painting is one of a kind because each moment can never be repeated in exactly the same way. The conditions that led to this particular set of colors, images, choices, will never be again. The emotions that inspired this direction may come back again, but in a different context.
I like to believe I’m getting better at this. I have to be nice to me, I know some days are going to be easier than others. If I’m just not feeling it one day, I know better than to judge my work or make huge changes. Sometimes I need to have space with a painting, put it aside, stop seeing it a certain way so I might be able to see it another way.
I often turn a canvas upside down and sideways, and sometimes that shows me the exact design and composition I was looking for. Then I get really excited!
I did that with this one. It just wasn’t working for me until I turned it sideways:
‘Portal’ ©Kris Cahill 2024; acrylic on wood, 10” x 10” x 3/4”. View and purchase this original painting.
Early stages of ‘Portal’ in progress.
The most magical things show up on my canvas when I get out of my own way.
When I stop overthinking and allow myself to be with what is, not needing to improve, excel, fix, or otherwise control what’s showing up, it works. In other words, when I stop trying so hard, it’s much easier. I’m learning to let go of self judgment, to simply be with what shows up as I paint. I’m learning to see my art as a great adventure.
What a relief. It’s paying off to do this, as I’ve got more space now to have something quite wonderful appear. Magic in action. Whether or not I like what shows up that day doesn’t matter in the least. I pin it up on my bulletin board and study it a lot, while doing other work at my desk, writing, or simply sitting in my studio/office. I take photos of it, because a simple photo can help me see a piece more clearly.
Giving myself time and space is helping me make better choices in my work.
I’m nearly complete with several new pieces, and others in the studio are just beginning. I understand now that the key is to have a conversation with each painting as I work on it, and to listen. New ideas, colors, choices, solutions - all show up suddenly out of the blue when I do this.
Making art is one of the most joyful and also the most challenging things I’ve done in my life, and I’m grateful for every moment of it.
“I said to myself, ‘I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me—shapes and ideas near to me—so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn’t occurred to me to put them down.’ I decided to start anew to strip away what I had been taught. ”
